I probably came from the roots of a chinese person who was wealthy and binded their foot which was passes down generations of generations. Then when I was born I HAAD to have the binding foot results, unfortunately. Well people nowadays don’t care if your foot is big or small. WHYY MEEEEE? okae maybe I’m exaggerating. But on the real though, I’m probably 1/27 chinese if you ask me.
Bullshitting people. I FUCKING HATE ITTT. I want to pull out all my hair. People lie about such trivial things, like who they like and don’t like, ask a question and didn’t expect their answer so they lie about it. Why are people concern about what others have to say as a response, are you THAT yellow?. CUT the crap already. I see right through BS. I can not get along with people here, but I guess this will prepare me for life because really, no one is going to be real with you nowadays. I mean come on, if you’re gonna bullshit me then do it well so that I don’t suspect you for being such a bullock. Teachers, classmates and all. Im so tired of everything.
Then there are those who are real but they’re a minority and people don’t talk to them because they don’t bullshit, making them outcasts. Therefor if you want to fit in here, you gotta learn how to bullshit all types of people, THEREFORR, learn being fake. But don’t live, it because you might get too caught up and then sooner or later you wouldn’t be able to tell who’re lie tellers and who’re honest.
I just hate that feeling when someone, anyone gets away with misunderstanding. I can’t stand not confronting the truth. Most of the times its with teachers or older people who think they’re always right the first time. Its hard to explain but misconception sucks and cowardness only makes it worst.
I get tired of people. No matter how much I like them, or how close I am to them, I get tired of them at one point or another. Not permanently, but I have these moments where I literally just want to break free from any type of social life and isolate myself for a week or two. I’m an introvert at heart, so although I have times where I’m in that mood to go out and have fun dancing and whatnot, I need to earn that same amount of time back for myself. One day I can be severely craving a person’s company, but after seeing that person “too much” I put a wall of space between us until I’m ready to socialize again.
It’s terrible of me, I know. I’m a jerk for temporarily “dropping” a person for a few days or weeks at a time, but I’ve been like this my whole life and I can’t help it. They don’t deserve it and I probably don’t deserve them, but my heart unfortunately gets sick of people too easily and randomly. Isolation simply sounds so appealing sometimes.
I want to test love. Test if my heart has the capacity to hurt love instead of it being the other way around
LIKE if I got a lover around the age of 20 THENNN, we both decide that we will love eacother BUT then I’ll be studying abroad and he’ll be doing his thing. We are both going to be hurting love. We then we come back to eachother after a few years. ONEDAY I gotta find a guy who would agree to do this. *sigh*
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”—C.S. Lewis (The Four Loves)